where ARE you babes?

:(

x

Our first official weigh-in is on Monday.  Please weigh-in on the "WEIGH IN HERE" entry.  Further information in the latest updates.  Thanks!  <3 L2G

Ana Bootcamp in the Lose2Gain diary.  Looking for new members!

Weekly weigh-ins, peer support, competition, tips and tricks

i havent heard from since forever!!!hope ur ok!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i love watching bands play! their awesome!

well i haven't been on here since the 6th

so hope your ok girl

-mwah

manicpsychopaige@yahoo.com

[paigewashere]

in time you will learn most people in high school and in life are aresholes.they aren;t worth it and i know you're a better person than they ever will be.if you wanna cheer up just have a steaming hot bubble bath while listening to rufus wainright.if it wont make you happy it will atleast calm you down.hope u feel better soon :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm sorry they are such jerks.  Don't let petty people get you down.  Highschool will be over soon and life on the outside is nothing like it.  You have the freedom to be who you want and people want to know you.

Put a smile on that beautiful face and prove them that your worth something because you are!

nice.....idk wat to tell u abou the whole ana mia thing....just take care and dont go overboard sissy

<3 ya

xoxox

awesome im glad my tips helped.you stay strong n stay happy ok?:)

xxxxx

it's so lovely to hear from you again!i've really missed you!what has helped me stay off the binging is spending my food money on salad bags because they're pretty expensive because they are pre-packaged.and anyway if you boil them up and then put them in a blender they make a delicious soup to warm you up when it's cold!i really hope that helped.also just remember all those pro-ana tips you can find on their websites.make small changes that make a big difference in the end :)i have quite a restricting school uniform so i can't gain weight on my tummy or legs because we have to wear pencil skirts so i guess thats good motivation!over the summer ive 'developed' more which is a bit weird coz that should have happened aaaaaaaages ago haha.my legs are a more feminine shape and my boobs are nearly a D!im not too keen on it so im going to loose a bit of weight before the trip to russia so im more a B.i know too well how it feels when you feel like everyones laughing and you want to cry.the only thing that helps me is to go somewhere safe like the library and listen to really sad songs like metal heart by cat power or dramamine by modest mouse or lua by bright eyes.i'm sure you have your favourites.well, if you havent read my entries basically i met this guy who recently started taking my bus and he's just too good to be true so im keeping my distance atm...i'm so glad you actually read my entry though and im glad you like my myspace :) i know i've written loads but this is my way of making time for you as i havent written to you in simply an age!stay strong!love you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ahh the binge cycle really is SHIT.=[ don't woz u'll snap out of it!:)

xx

i liked the first one best too:)

go to ivilliage.com, sign up, go to the beauty section and the make over thing is on there, upload your pictures and you're good to go:)

happy belated birth day.

ahh its a massive relief to hear from you again!!im glad you can empathise and not be one of those tits that says 'you did well' hahah.

if ur ever in need of a weeeeee lil chat.tap back ;)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

ive seriously missed you!!how have you been???

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hope you're okay.

super glue[or nail glure] is a cutters best friend, it works.

please don't kill yourself, my entire teen life, was bad, one addiction after the next, abusive, mental disorders, but hell i'm alive, i may still have ssues, but i'm better off then i would be dead. things do get better some times it takes years of hell to get there though. if i can make it so can you.

just wanted you to know i'm back and not going anywhere.

stay strong starve on-fadingobsession

yeah lil_fun. if that doesnt work you can use butterfly badages. just look for them in the store with that name. i hope things go better for you. i miss purging to much. your so lucky you stil have that option:(

-me

go to the store and get one of those fake nail kits with the glue.

clean ur wound and put lots of glue in. that will stop the bleeding and it will seel it from infection.

i no it sounds rediculous but thats what the hospital would do because they don't stich anything thats not a fresh wound.  and the nail glue dries realy quick.

after the wound is healed the glue will come out. don't pick at it though or u will have to start all over again. the glue will come out when everything has healed.

u will have a scare from it but im sure u already new that.

is your bmi really over 30?

you never sent me your stats.

sorry about your mom, and friend. hope you feel better soon.

<3 Juli

i hope you feel better soon! :(

don't get mad,
but having your home address on this website is a really big mistake.
anyone can highlight it and see it, and some old perv can hunt you down.
it's just a really bad idea.

well....ur not a worthless piece of sh*t ur my sweetheart sissy<3

and talkin 2 her will make u feel better....

mwahahaha

<33

i'm really proud of you for talking to that psychologst.it must have been hard.

xxx

hi sweetheart.....i noe i havent been in touch for a long time.....im really sorry....things have been bad lately....my bf broke up wit me and then asked me out again and i said no....i felt so guilty till one f my frnds told me that he had said he wud dump me if some other gals asked him out and shyt.....i felt so effed up but w/e and den i cudnt access my mdd......sorry baby......i really am

besides ima leave mdd soon so add me...my yahoo is sweet_shivani92@yahoo.co.in

<333

mwahahah

really sorry

hope ur visit to the shrink isnt too bad

xoxox

thanks so much huuni

i'll write you when i can
is the number your cell or home phone?

and i think your names really cool

stay atrong girl
amanda xxx

thanks so much huuni

i'll write you when i can
is the number your cell or home phone?

and i think your names really cool

stay atrong girl
amanda xxx

Hi
how are u?
At the end of the month I'm leaving MDD
so I wont have any Ana support or anything
I really can't afford to loose the support I have on here
so if you could please give me addresses (snail mail)
and cell/mobile numbers
please I wont be able to access the net at all
no thinspo, no pro ana nothing
just me
thats why Ineed you guys to repliy
please please repliy I cant afford to loose such great freinds
stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

good luck.  phsycologists suck because the anolize everything you say. they start out hi how are you or how are you feeling today and no matter what you say they will question it. and anolize it. they want to no everythought in your head and they put there opinion on everything you say. for example they ask how you are and you be honest and tell them you are a little nervous about being there and they ask why you try to explain and they go into this long analogy of crap that no one can understand and how ever you respond they will want to go deeper into that thought and were it came from and why you had it. or they get out the stupid ink blots and ask you what they remind you of you say that perticular one reminds you of a butterflie they ask why and if you have a memory of a butterflie. and it goes on and on and on. 

if you tell them anything they try to get in you head and anolize every thought and word you say it's very anoying.

so all i can tell you is good luck.

im sorry girl i havent ever been to a phyco so i dont really know what to say but good luck and i hope everything goes well

-me

it's your nerves. the more you are worrying about the doc and what they will say or what your mom is going to tell them the more you are binging.

this is easier said then done but you must get controll of your emotions in order to get controll of your binging. did you used to be a comfort eater? or have sertain comfort foods? it is a hard habbit to break. i used to go threw a big tub of ice cream a week when i was in school because that was my comfort food and i would purge after every bowl i ate, and the more stressed i would get the more i  would find myself eating...

i no it's hard but you can do this. you have controll. all you have to do is take it. 

good luck.

stay strong

lil_fun

Im in.

i'm in.

i've gotten so fast the past 3 weeks....

i know how you feel. really, i do. at camp i ate every single meal. they fedus like kings so i REALLY ate a lot. i burned a lot of calories too but i hated feeling like sh*t. i threw up every night when we got back to the hotel even though it was too late. it made me feel better. ive gained all my wieght back and im freaking out cause i feel like a piece:(

ill take laxies tonight to clear my system and then ill start over tommorrw. just think. . . when you ate it helped your metabolism so if you can just starve for even a day you will burn it all because it has a kickstart now.

it will keep you sane

-me

aww huni i,m sorry to hear about your binge

but you will be thin

so will everyone else here

stay strong

much love Amanda xxx

I hope life cheers up for you soon

It sounds like you need it

xxxx

i'm sorry to hear about

ur binge and u missing ur boyfriend

i'm sure you appointment with your

psychologist will be fine

i speak from experience

stay strong

much love Amanda xxx

it's nice to find someone whos similar to you eh?:)

x

you are not possibly all those fats girl!! and thanks.. i trylol.

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxx

oh man girl:( i hate it when parents pry and even worse when they tell on you. i mean. . . hello there your parents. there supposed to be the ones that people rat you out to, but i guess its in the past now. i hope therapy can help out. i would lie:) i hate talking about myself to people i dont know. but then again ive never been to therapy. i peobably should but. . . eh. oh well. good luck

-me

awe that sucks. healthy weight isn't bad. at least you're not overweight. last year i was severely overweight. starving doesn't take a month of not eating, and i think your mom is just worried about you. heck my mom was to blind to even notice, or she just didn't want to. yay for growing a half inch. how tall are you by the way?

i thought it was depression more then bipolar, it sounds more like depression. you don't seem to get the mania, or the high highs that come with bipolar disorder. but depression is still bad. i wish i could go to a shrink. you're actually lucky. it's nice to be able to talk sometime.

stay strong starve on-fadingobsession

sh*t..  Ur mum said you were starving yourself? Fucck.. n the doctor got so personal..?? holy sh*t girl I hope it all works out n the docs dont screw anything up..!

Depression? Succky=( I hope everythin gets betta for ya soon!I lov ya girl!

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxx

[ObsessiveLovage]

actually to me you just sound like a stressed out teenager with [for you love i won't call it what it is], eating issues, that make times and emotions stronger. i wouldn't go as far as saying you're bipolar. but possible boarderline on the edge of it. like what you have may deveolpe into it later on.

my birth mom has it, and has since she was 15. she tells me everything, abotu it, and helps me through my episodes. she say's i am. but i lack insurance so when i have problems with it i call instead of a shrink.

i'll fast with you. i got you message a little late, i had eatten, but then i didn't feel well, and i ended up snorting a part of an oxy, i puked 30seconds later, and ALL of what i ate came up. so i'm starting fresh.

i feel bad about the oxy, but it's out of your system in like 3 days. i haven't smoked pot in 9 days. i am applying for a job at lowes and they drug test, so i have to be 31days clean to pass. it's so hard for me not to cave. so i ended up doing that pill....

oh well, yeah fasting, is a great idea. hope you do well.

much love-fadingobsession

sorry i didn't feel like logging in as fadingobsession, but i'm commenting back on it,lol:)

thanks hun. actualy mania with the depression are signs of bipolar. both of my parents and my brother are bipolar, so i have a atleast a 75% chance of that being the problem. like if one parent has it, you have a 50% chance, it goes up if both have it. that's what my birthmom told me after she was diagnosed for it. she's given me a bottle of her meds, and they help, i just haven't been taken them lately.

if it isn't bipolar disorder it's borderline personality disorder. it's pretty similar, but have a few more things with it.

thanks for saying you like the outfits. actualy the black dress, white, and blue were from Rave. the corset once were from hottopic. if you go to the diary i'm typing this from then maybe they'll all show up. they showed on my computer, but since i have them on here too, maybe it'd work for you.

i've lost 10lbs in a week before, fasted 3 days, and worked out like crazy. ate the night of the 3rd day[making sure i went the full72hour first], then fasted 3 more days, and worked out then as well. day 7 i weighed and had lost 10lbs, so it is possible, just hard to do. i'm fasting today to. good luck.

-Juli

Love&Support Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

how do you make yourself purge? ive tried but it doesnt work :(

but good work with the 2 pounds :) keep going!

B xxx

i love you honey. sorry if i made you upset. i have a problem with being to honest[smacks forehead].

if it means anything all i've done is binged for like a week. i'm to afraid to weigh myself. i ate meat a lot this week too. i feel so gross.

hmmm. maybe we should do a fast sometime this week, and feel better about ourselves :) or whatever you want to do. i'll totally support you[well except for killing yourself i'd miss you to much, so please don't.]

love ya little sissy-Juli

Ahhhr, I'm sorry tha u n ur bf are havin such a sh*t time! n that u gained:( grr, i no how ya feel about that. but i give 2 sh*ts about ya! n i no that a whole lotta girls do too on this.. your real popular on this n loved so people do care.. theres always matt too? and ur friends?

xxx

glad you had fun with matt.

my brother wanted to know if his g/f would cheat on him, so i set up a fake myspace account and msg.ed her. it only took me an hour of smooth talking and she was ready to come meet me,lol. up until then we thought she was only interested in my brother, but we found out differently. maybe your cousin is just worried that he's not faithful to you. it's probably not her wanting to be with him, just her making sure he's only with you. after all relationships where you never see each other in person generally aren't real and don't last. a lot of times they are more one sided, one person is in love and serious, the other it's just something to do. [plz don't be mad i said that, but i've seen it happen so many times.]

the quote you said don't steal it's your friends words, is in the song "You're So Last Summer" by Taking Back Sunday.
.

congrats on the no meat. how are the other things going[you know all the things with by products in them...]? i was doing so good not eating meat. almost a whole month and then boom mom invites us over for bbq, and i blew it. starting over today. i'm only having slim fast and lettus all week. i will get some results damn it. lol.

good luck with everything.

stay strong starve on-fadingobsession

glad you had fun with matt.

my brother wanted to know if his g/f would cheat on him, so i set up a fake myspace account and msg.ed her. it only took me an hour of smooth talking and she was ready to come meet me,lol. up until then we thought she was only interested in my brother, but we found out differently. maybe your cousin is just worried that he's not faithful to you. it's probably not her wanting to be with him, just her making sure he's only with you. after all relationships where you never see each other in person generally aren't real and don't last. a lot of times they are more one sided, one person is in love and serious, the other it's just something to do. [plz don't be mad i said that, but i've seen it happen so many times.]

the quote you said don't steal it's your friends words, is in the song "You're So Last Summer" by Taking Back Sunday.
.

congrats on the no meat. how are the other things going[you know all the things with by products in them...]? i was doing so good not eating meat. almost a whole month and then boom mom invites us over for bbq, and i blew it. starting over today. i'm only having slim fast and lettus all week. i will get some results damn it. lol.

good luck with everything.

stay strong starve on-fadingobsession

poaaaaaaah, long entry girl but i read like every word lol! i feel ya too girl, seriously matt sounds f***in so cool. i want him+jermy+matt.. gee u've got tha boys.. and YAY matt said 'you look thinner!' f***in bitch! i am like green here! anyways, i hope ur cuz doesnt say anythin to ur bf! but if she dos wateva cuz she obviously just wants him and is jealous, and he wont go for it anyways!xxx

Hahaha, I like this Jermy guy! Where u from? america?? I hope he forgivs ya so u cn go and get high with him n not be pushed away! lol! neways.. course I'd add ya girlie=)

Support&Lovage, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ummm i'm using this diary again.....

[fadingobsession]

i've all been for mia lately

and thats the same situation with my sorta boyfriend who aren't atall together anymore

just try and go out.

it will be worth it.

Promise.

and good luck on the food front too.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Me 2.

f*** food.

I ate a smoothie+a chocolote bar!So i guess i didnt fast wit you=( rawr. fast tomoro... I just keep sayin i'll eat cuz im sik. WELL as soon as im betta i will eat 0calories.. raaaaawr whyis there such a f***ing thing as food.. ooh i like the sound of the necklace is f***ing sexual! i've always wanted a peace sign necklace!! lol..

awwww have a fab anniversary baby

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wish ya luk, n like awww about the cat thing! Omg, like im fosterin a cat soon hehe.. ironic..!

f*** I wish i hada bf tat i cud jus get to cum n take me away!lol

Love&Support Chloe xxxxxxxxxxx

welll....be thin but please don get high....

im really disappointed sissy

<3

Ahhr, I have dreams too about food too OMG! hahahaha,

Jermy sounds kinda hot like, but u luv your man dont forget that! good luc!

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i always take my pain killers at least 4 to 5 at a time,lol. i have a high pill/drug tolerance.

i've been having a problem with oxy's lately. i snorted some with my boss last week, and ended up sick all day. it made me puke 35 times, in 4 hours.

i have to be good now though. my niece is coming to live with us for a while, and i wanted to be a better influence on her then her mother is. so i'm quitting pills for a while.

i'm guessing you just started getting high lately. once you do it for a while you'll never get that high again. i've been smoking pot since age 11. sometimes i have to quite for a month or 2 just to feel like i can get high at all. j's been smoking[everyday] since age 15, he'll be 28 this year. i'm like damn, if we he didn't spend all that money on weed we'd be rich, lol.

ttyl-Juli

Hey darl, stay strong. I believe in you. Thin is beautiful.

Jess xoxo

thanks for the list os panick attack symptoms huni

iv experienced most of these

now i know what it is to get help

thanks

much love Amanda xxx

not good girl......

i cant believe u did that.......uuggghhh

!!!!

huh!!

<3

ONE WORD:

wow.

stop and think about what your doing

do you really want all that food in you?

do you really wanna be fat?

stay strong

much love Amanda xxx

well...sis...calm down sweetz!!!!

all of us have our bad dayz...dont worry!!!!

and yea....binging adn purging is SO NOT gnna help you lose weight.....try and understand......healthy eatin habitz will......i hope u realise soon!!

ily

mwaaah

AHHH.

U ARE SO RIGHT.

f***ERS ON TV! THEY WANT US TO BE FAT AND DEPRESSED!

But feel better anyways, dont give in!

gotta go purge (thanks for the bag idea!) and then purge until water and blood comes up!(im not very good at purging either so it takes ageees!)i hate myself sometimes. I swear i know exactly how you feel... i wana get pissed and make a show of myself! f*** it!

Good luck for tomoro

and the fasting thing..well.. I thought this whole ana thing was about fasting so i just try and fast everyday..(not workin tho)!

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxx

yay lets be veggies together,lol. i was for 2 hole years before i'm sure i can do it again.

i ended up eating, but only 55cals, so not to bad,lol.

Friday/Saturday sounds good to me.

my cousin is vegan, i think it'd make ana much easier since you're very limited on vegan diets :)

lylas-Juli

[TheLostAngel]

Ahhr so irratating when people do that!Sooo good to know you get it too. f***in whores who want attention. I hate that! Its like ahhhr, if you want attention then go get fat!and STOP making up lies... attempted murder,lollollol i woulda been close behind u telling her to go f*** herself.Sucks you had to purge! Hate purging myself!Good luck girl!

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxx

f***,

stay STRONG!

look at thinspo on youtube

its AMAZING.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Well i hope practice goes good for you
I'm a gunna fast as well :]
for about hmm...
3 or 4 days

i know how u feel

much love Amanda xxx

listen...u gotta stop.....ur getting me worried...AGAIN>>>>>>

gosh....sissy...why do u keep doing tis to urself..???i mean.....uve gtta eat...UR NOT A FATASS........eat in moderation but EAT!!!

i'm fasting tomorrow want to join me?

stats plz, you never send them.

binger/purger=bulimic,lolz. i know you like not to believe it. it doesn't really make since you think you can be bipolar which is a mental disorder, but not bulimic, which is also i mental disorder. honey it's in your head. you can't control mental disorders. you didn't choose it, it chose you. i've been doing the same thing since i was in between 10-11. i'm 19 i finally admitted i was bulimic last year. it took me that long to realise i had a mental disorder. but then i realised it's not my fault. disorders aren't your fault. it's so much easier to be open about it after admitting it. [no need for recovery if you not ready, but just admitting it can help. i mean it's easier to grow in it, and easier to recover, whichever you want, after you realize there isn't another name for it.]

i love you sweetie. you're like a little sister to me.

stay strong purge on.-Juli

[if it makes you feel better i'm going to do the same thing once j's asleep. binge/purge]

fast.. i mean might as wel, if you eat..oh well. it wasnt plnned fasting!

Love&Support,chloe xxxxxxxxxx

Did you ever go to the doctor to see if you have bipolar? And also how do you figure you're not bulimic? I don't want to sound rude or anything but I really think you are. I've followed your diary for awhile now and you follow mine. But I'm worried, I honestly think you need to tell some one about how your a "binger purger" as you called it. Please, I think it would help you sooooo much.

be safe

<3 Kayla

huni you wanting to die really worries me

even though iv felt like doing it myself many times

i know exactly what you mean bout screwing up your fast

i did exactly the same thing yesterday

and feel disgusting because of it

stay strong huni

much love Amanda xxx

I don't want you to die.
I know what depression feels like.
I suffer from it.
I probably won't help much but I really hope you get better.
When you eat just eat a little bit or like one meal a day.
I don't know. Purgeing isn't good for the body.
I don't know. Just think it'll be over soon.
Tell yourself you'll be skinny soon.
Think good things.

-paigewashere

ohhhhh...wowie.....someones happpiiieee....lol....

im so happy 4 you...my one year is on 10th oct...long way off....lol...

<333

mwaaahz

no huni i dont thin ur fat *hides behinde coach*

good luck with ur purge tho

much love Amanda xxx

Bleh

Tried to purge today

It didnt work

Anways

Hope ur okay xxx

sorry babe but god! he sounds like a real ass. dump him before he hurts you dear. dont let him boss you around like this

[lildarkshadow]

i am taking hem to bring my cycles back. then when i go off of them again hopefully i'll still have cycles. that way i can ovulate and get pregnant. i was on them until the day i got married, then i quit taking them, and n 4 months from stopong them i got pregnant[unfortunantly i lost the baby though], but my periods were regular those 4 months. so maybe it'll work the same way this time around.

[TheLostAngel]

thanks huni

id really lovemore thinspo to keep me going

i fast and purge

do u have msn/myspaace?

much love Amanda

p.s do u have a Ana scrapbook/site?

wow

that look so awesome

are u wicca?

much love Amanda xxx

im sorry to haer bout how sh*t school is for you

but im even more sorry to hear bout your binge

all the luck in the world with going totally Ana/ Mia

can i join you?

i need someone to help keep me going

much love Amanda xxx

We all do..

Ohh yah! I like it=) Thanks babe.. yupyup guna b thin togetha!!

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxx

you know i'm hella good at photoshopping body shots. if you took like bikini pictures for him(if you didn't want me seeing the nudes,lol) and want to look thinner or more tones, i could fix them for you.[i mean if you're not going to see him anytime really soon,lol, gotta give you some time to look like the pictures,lol.]

i miss talking to you. i hat eating, it's so f***ing hard. and it seems to be all i can do. so umm, after i go to the doctor on wednseday if i'm not pregnant i'll let you know, and email me. i may start another diary soon if things don't turn around quickly. and i'd defenatly want your support.

luv ya sis-Juli

[TheLostAngel]

i havent been that good really.

i'll write about it in an entry in a sec.

i hope ur ok and i hope things between you and your boyfriend work out ok :)

xxxxx

=( awww. i hope it all works out for ya girl...!

thats so horrible what happned!!

nude pics?sassy!Id never have the courage! what age rya??

good fasting! my motivation lol!

love&support, chloe xxxx

I'm Sorry
Me And Timmy Got Into It Last Night
I Hope You And Your Boyfriend Make-Up Soon

awe i'm sorry honey. if it means anything me and j got into a big fight today. [read the entry before last, titled tears] it was bad.

hope you feel happy soon.

<3 Juli